"Giving Up is the Hardest Part"

So it happened, my will broke down and it finally happened today. The last 3 or 4 days or so I had been constantly hungry and thinking of ribs. Yea, BBQ ribs. It all started when I was checking my FB feed and saw two different people had posted pics of their dinner that evening. Both so happened to be thick, juicy ribs. I freaking LOVE ribs! At that point I thought to myself "damn I can't have those anymore," and in that moment I was slightly upset. It also didn't help that every other night I would think about them whilst I slept; it's pretty pathetic actually. But I made this choice for the betterment of my spiritual self so I'm going to continue trying.

The "bright side" is I didn't eat ribs today. Like I've said before, I live in BFE and don't know of any good BBQ/rib joints and none probably exist here. And I'm not gonna lie, if I had the opportunity to eat them one last time, well I just might. :( lol Since I luckily cant bring myself to chomping down cow or chicken anymore, I ended up eating shrimp. I made the hubs and I shrimp cocktail with the bag of frozen shrimp we've had in the freezer for about a month now. (Maybe even longer, oops) When we bought the bag forever ago it was initially for shrimp cocktail and camarones a la diabla, but I never got around to it. I suppose it was a good thing I kept putting them off or else that bag wouldn't have been in the freezer to help me with my transition. As people say "everything happens for a reason".

I did feel a little guilty when I was making the dish. As I was peeling the shrimp, hubby helping me at my side, I couldn't help but think of the little guy we had seen at the Aquarium of the Pacific. During our christmas vacay, we visited the aquarium with my older brother and nieces. Inside they have small tide pools where one can see and touch the little critters under water. A new addition (or at least new to me) to these touch pools were shrimp. As I was holding my finger in the water right in front of one, it began to crawl onto my finger. I watched closely as it started to eat at my cuticle. It's claws were so dainty I couldn't feel a thing but it was an amazing sight to see. I put him back in the water and joined the rest of my fam who was at the tide pool next to me. There, I see my husband doing the exact same thing trying to show our nieces the beauty of nature. They were so amazed to see that the shrimp was "cleaning" his nails. It reminded us of Jacques, the cleaner shrimp, in Finding Nemo. :D





I was content with myself that I felt guilty, because in that moment I knew that I would be able to give up all meat someday. So I guess at this point that makes me a pescetarian on my way to vegetarianism. ??
If your reading and new to this too and are struggling, don't give up on yourself. Just because you give in once or even a few times doesn't mean you'll never accomplish your goals. Things take time and like Jess reminded me, your body will need time to transition to the new lifestyle. Take it day by day, we'll get there!

Good vibes and happy days <3

- jess